The Sacrament of Matrimony

Have you been hearing bells ringing lately?  Perhaps you have, because wedding bells chime at our parish all summer long – indeed, every month of the year!  But what is involved?  Let’s have a look.

• Whether you’re marrying another Catholic or a non-Catholic, every baptized Catholic is required by canon law to marry in the Catholic Church, unless a dispensation has been granted by the Archbishop, which is quite rare. 
• Both the bride and groom must be free to marry, meaning that this must be a first marriage for each, or a former spouse is deceased, or prior marriage/s have received a Declaration of Nullity. If needed, we can help you with the latter; it may be very simple.  Do ask us!
• A common misconception is that a Catholic must marry another Catholic to be able to be married in the Catholic Church or that the non-Catholic must first become Catholic.  That is not the case.  The Church does not require or pressure a non-Catholic to become Catholic but does expect the Catholic party to practice the Catholic faith and, as far as possible, to baptize and raise the children Catholic.
• When the Church says a Catholic must marry in the Catholic Church, unless granted permission by the Archbishop to do otherwise, it really does mean inside a parish church. Why? Deacon Owen Cummings answers in his Catholic Sentinel article, “Catholic Weddings Stay Inside for a Good Reason”: “First and fundamentally, the Church is trying to emphasize the seriousness and sacredness of the marriage commitment by requiring that the sacrament be celebrated in that place where the church community normally gathers for worship and prayer, the local parish church.  Second, a couple that marries in a Catholic church is demonstrating that their faith is part of their new life together from the beginning and furthermore, they are also recognizing that all the sacraments are sacraments of the Church and are never simply private affairs, not even marriage.”
• If you have married outside of the Catholic Church, the Church offers a way to bring your marriage into the Church called “convalidation.”  It’s not a vague blessing of your civil union, but rather the celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony in the Catholic Church, a new consent. All that’s needed at the Rite is the couple, the witness of the Church (the priest or deacon) and two witnesses to your vows.  Bringing your marriage into the Catholic Church is important, as seen in the priest’s potential directive to refrain from receiving Holy Communion until you do so.   Do give us a call! 
• At least six months of marriage preparation is required by the Church for engaged couples.  After all, you are preparing for a lifetime together, not just the wedding day!  Make it strong and true.   

For more information about marriage matters, 

please contact Ann Brophy, Pastoral Associate, at the parish office or abrophy@shcs.org.

• The Church requires a six-month period of marriage preparation for engaged couples.  Why is this important?  Whitney and Jason, marrying here in August, reflect, “It is easy to get caught up in the wedding details and forget why you set out on this journey in the beginning. Marriage prep refocused us on…the real reason of this wedding: the marriage and the life together.”

• Chuck and Lisa Bock write, “The marriage preparation process is incredibly important for the couple to draw closer to God, understand the Sacrament of Marriage, and to effectively communicate about any issues before their wedding day. Our role, we hope, is to help them see God’s plan for marriage and help them realize that if they invite God into their marriage and stay faithful to Him, He will never let them down.   He will be ever present in their marriage and give them abundant graces to live out their married life together with peace and joy through any circumstances.”

• At Sacred Heart, an engaged couple takes the FOCCUS Inventory, which gives a snapshot of the lives they’re bringing together.  Using the detailed report, Ann Brophy, and perhaps Father follow up. They then attend a Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend or take the online Catholic Marriage Preparation course (www.CatholicMarriagePrep.com) – their choice.  

• Here’s what two couples who took the Catholic Online Marriage Preparation course said about it. 

• Mitchell and Marin, marrying here this summer, wrote:  “We really enjoyed this course…I really like how Karen and Deano (their online facilitators) were so personable and getting the great feedback… I think it’s so great that the Church does these classes for couples.  I was always religious and have included God in my life, but this course as it relates to marriage, helped revive the meaning of God behind this Sacrament… We have learned so much about the Sacrament of Marriage, and are looking forward to raising our family within the Church.  As Mother Theresa said, “A family that prays together is a family that stays together.”  We plan to have God above all else in our family.”

• Amanda and Will, marrying in eastern Oregon this June, wrote this about the online preparation:

• “We learned not only a lot about the Catholic faith and responsibility of getting married within the Church, but also about each other.  Did this marriage preparation course meet my expectations?  Yes, it exceeded them!  I feel like the course has brought me closer to God and his Church.  Our plans are to continue to attend church weekly…and to actively pray with one another.”

• Kayla and Andrew, who recently attended a Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend, wrote: “The weekend centered around the importance of communication….It was fun to connect with other couples who have similar values…The real and relatable experiences of the couples who led the weekend helped us to identify with how to properly prepare for marriage…The retreat was a nice chance to rejuvenate, get away from daily stresses and wedding planning, and dedicate a weekend to each other and to God.  A weekend spent investing in our future was a weekend well spent.”

 To learn more about your particular situation or begin the process, please contact Ann Brophy, Pastoral Associate, at the parish office, or abrophy@shcs.org